@chaddaniels34: Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it's the tennis kind.

@KKAlThani: My friend showed up wearing a "Narnia is real" shirt which suits him cause they both aren't planning to come out of the closet anytime soon.

@TheAlexP: [first day of astronomy class] So, does everyone get to be an astronaut, or do we draw straws?

@carlyken: Kids, in my day we didn't have text messaging. We had to write a "Do you like me? Yes or no?" note and pass it through 17 mutual friends.

@KeetPotato: me: "£4,000 for a beehive?" salesman: "sir, there are 8,000 bees in there, that's only 50p each" me: [checking my wallet] "give me 3 bees"