@KayLee_CPT: "Umm, what are you doing? Can you not? Seriously, get off me!" - The first horse ever ridden (probably)
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@frankzulla: "Ohhh, a knife! What are you gonna do, stab me or something?" - Guy about to get stabbed bad
@Xalqee: My wife once told me " Mike you're the only man who ever gave me multiple orgasms", which pissed me off because my names not Mike
@SamGirlSunday: Feeling sad because my hamster died... Well he's not 'technically' dead yet, but I ran out of food so it's really just a matter of days.
@djdarrellripley: Doctor: Open your mouth (inserts tongue depressor) Me: Mmm, this tastes good. Dr: You should have tasted it when the Popcicle was on it!