@ericsshadow: [undercover FBI agent steps out of his surveillance van, knocks on my front door] do you ever stop eating?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@I_Am_Iron_Dad: Don't look at me like that, Barbie. We're both stuck in this playhouse. Just drink your tea. The toddler will tell us what to do next.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: Hello Teacher: Hello M: How's my kid doing in school? T: How's my kid doing in school? I hate parrot teacher conferences
@meganamram: We're in the exact point of climate change as when wile e. coyote runs off the cliff but hasn't looked down yet