@Asbo_Unicorn: Unicorns have one horn and everyone says "ooh they're so magical" Cow's have 2 horns & no one cares even though they taste so much better
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@i_eat_fruit: COP: do you know why I pulled you over ME: knock knock COP: who’s there ME: do you know why I pulled you over COP: *begins to sweat* n..no
@s_cLaN07: My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe.
@Sickayduh: Wife: Have u done anything today? Me: Rode my bike on the back tire down the street Wife: Wheelie? Me: Yes, really, and cut the baby talk