@AndrewR31: Unless the girl is hot, when she asks how I want my hair cut, I'll say "In silence"
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@sanjanaa: Dude yapping nonstop at the gym just said he works out in the afternoons to avoid people who talk. Is it okay to fling a dumbbell at him?
@david8hughes: "HONEY, MY TOOTHBRUSH IS MOVING!" "Has it got ears?" "YEAH." "Tail?" "YEAH." "Is it the dog?" "I THINK I KNOW THE DIFF--AH IT BIT ME AGAIN!"
@fuqtarded: On the street or subway you can only imagine what that idiot is thinking. On Twitter, you get to see what that idiot is thinking.
@QwertyJones3: [phone rings] "Hello?" Hi, is your refrigerator running? "WTF?" ...well Hillary is! Hi, I'd like to talk to you about the Clinton campaign.