@aveuaskew: Unreliable eye witness testimony is the reason chameleons are nature's most elusive and successful serial killers.
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@joejwest: ME: [leaning over toilet] Hold back my hair YOU: Ok ME: [drinks from toilet like dog] YOU: You've made your point I'll wash up some glasses
@daemonic3: 911: What's your emergency? "I put the Ford in affordable housing." 911: Are you flirting? "No I crashed into some apartments. SEND HELP"
@michael_raphone: I've got a great sense of humor *closes eyes and tilts head slightly upward* yes. there is humor nearby. 40, no, 50 yards from here