@Bandersnaaatch: Until my sneezes have time to figure out their beliefs, please stop blessing them.
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@bobvulfov: LAWYER: ur dad's estate— ME: who called it executing a will instead of splittin heirs L: he said if u made a dumb joke u get nothing M: shit
@Dank_Pal: [Job Interview] Sir, it says here you're part of a small group of criminals that primarily kills interviewersoohhhhmygod
@marlespo: My 8 yr old just asked me how the first microchip was built at the exact time I was wondering what other animals got sweaty armpits.