@emmatheist: Unwritten rule: if you find an unconscious security guard you have to drag him to a supply closet and change into his uniform.
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@EricaLynnz: Brb taking my potted plant for a walk "And that is tha sunshine, and this is another plant, you guys can't be friends he lives outside"
@daniel_shaw: If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person.
@perhapssomeday: No one who heard me talking to my dog would assume that English is my first language.
@WarrenHolstein: Save money this Halloween by utilizing last years' hobo costume to dress up as this year's federal employee.