@emmatheist: Unwritten rule: if you find an unconscious security guard you have to drag him to a supply closet and change into his uniform.
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@HatfieldAnne: We’ve all talked about throwing a dirty dish away instead of washing it. But only some of us have done it.
@SondraDeeMe: My dream of making Playboy gone, so my best bet is National Geographic photographing me naked, carrying water on my head.
@david8hughes: [donating blood] "You're looking a little faint. Can I get you a drink?" "No thanks, I've just had like 60 of those strawberry Capri Suns."