@jergarl: Urban Dictionary is fake, and cannot be used in a court of law.
I know that now.
@onelongbender: When people tell me I'm intimidating, I generally just glare at them until they take it back.
@Dr_awfulpants: [Doctor office]
-How are you feeling?
-Any side effects from the medication?
*cries tears of fire*
-Now that you mention it...
@QwertyJones3: MANAGER: Great news guys, I finally got us a gig
BAND: Thank God! Finally!
MANAGER: *installing RAM* Yeah it'll make this PC way faster
@LuckoftheDraw86: Me: hey what's this weird lump?
WebMD: could be cancer.
Me: it's a raisin stuck to my elbow...
WebMD: you have two weeks.
@TheFearBoners: When one door closes, another opens. Also, you can open the closed door. That's how doors work. How do you know so little about doors?