@funnyordie: Usain Bolt has the greatest Tinder profile picture of all time on his hands.
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@ShortSleeveSuit: Vicodin: For when you absolutely have to apple scissors badger trampoline Connie seven accept substitute no steak fries
@daemonic3: [waving hands and chasing down ice cream truck] Hey! "What'll it be?" [out of breath] Nothing. Just wanted to tell you I'm vegan
@mattZillaaaa: It's almost that time of night where I drunk text my ex "I have to tell you something" then shut my phone off.