@funnyordie: Usain Bolt has the greatest Tinder profile picture of all time on his hands.
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@jonni_howard: "Your storage is full" thanks Apple, I'll just go and delete some photos of friends and family, but at least I'll always have the stocks app
@bridger_w: "I'm sorry, but are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" -Fun way to confuse a waiter who just suggested a menu item
@ShawnIzadi: Password security questions be like: What's your middle name? Why are you single? What's wrong with your big toe?