@AaronFullerton: "Usain Bolt, Trump regrets/ Gawker downed by Hogan's sex/ Manafort, Putin's pet/ Lochte lies then hops on jet/ We didn't start the fire..."
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@UnIxphysco: My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded
@TheBoydP: I heard that no real accountants were consulted during the filming of the new movie The Accountant. They want the movie to be entertaining.
@BoucheDag2k: Just went to the mens room & came out to an empty office. Either the building is on fire or there is cake in the break room. Win/win
@huntigula: If you watch "The Empire Strikes Back" backwards it's about a kid so traumatized to learn his dad's identity he starts hitting on his sister