@BlackGodSon: Used tampons should be hung outside for the mosquito
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@cakemittens: Adulthood - Pros: you can eat ice cream in bed. Cons: this will somehow make you sadder.
@fillthevacuum: Pro tip: The Labor Day weekend is a great time to start drafting your Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas tweets.
@TheToddWilliams: [team tryouts] Coach: You really knocked that one out of the park. Jimmy: Thanks Coach! Coach: This is tennis.
@MikeLonghelt: It's never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it's too late.