@BlackGodSon: Used tampons should be hung outside for the mosquito
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@doktorj: Adult me is pretty pissed that you can't learn to dance perfectly in the span of an 80's montage.
@AndyAsAdjective: She looks at me with those come hither eyes & I'm over here frantically flipping thru a dictionary trying to figure out what "hither" means.
@ReelQuinn: "Yes, I'm here. I really need you to be more specific. I know a lot of Margarets." -- God
@on_the_fritz_17: If you're going to suffocate someone with a pillow, have the goddamn decency to use the cool side.