@BlackGodSon: Used tampons should be hung outside for the mosquito
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@drinksmcgee: When a cashier asks me for my email address, I keep naming random letters as they type it to see how long I can go before they give up.
@AbrasiveGhost: What did u do last night? Me: I drowned my swallows in whiskey Don't u mean sorrows? Me [covering tub of dead birds]: is that the saying?
@better_off_dad: Me: Alexa, are you listening even when I don't say 'Alexa'? Alexa: No, I only listen when you say 'Alexa'. M: Thanks A: Welcome M: Hey!
@ItsAndyRyan: I asked my wife for an audio book and she got me an encyclopaedia. That speaks volumes.