@1evilidiot: [couples therapy]
"Have you tried sexy lingerie?"
me: yeah but it just creeps her out.
@1evilidiot: I'm pretty sure these people at the next table are talking about how paranoid I am.
@1evilidiot: You people that are getting sex regularly either need to keep that shit to yourselves or be more descriptive.
@1evilidiot: Just heard the phrase naturally boneless chicken and that'll keep me awake tonight.
@1evilidiot: It's funny when you tell someone that you don't like people, they always think you mean other people.