Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of 2tickytacky's best tweets

@2tickytacky : I threw a dart at a map to pick a vacation spot and shattered the hell out of my phone screen.

@2tickytacky: Every time I play guitar at home, my wife goes looking for a cat we don't have.

@2tickytacky: I have a kidney to donate. It's not mine, so I don't know much about it.

@2tickytacky: In your selfie, you had rabbit ears and little whiskers. You don't really have any of those things! Catfish! Just like rainbow tongue girl.

@2tickytacky: Got my inhaler mixed up with my psychedelic frog and went on one hell of a wheezy ride.

@2tickytacky: I walked briskly to the nearest safe haven as I was being chased by the hood on my jacket.

@2tickytacky: She had silky hair and legs that went on for days. I was in bed with a horse.

@2tickytacky: If mobile wallets do away with credit cards, they'll need to come up with an app that can scrape my windshield.

@2tickytacky: I generally don't trim my ear hair until it effects my peripheral vision.