@AlisonChrista: I wish I took the same care with anything in my life as my dog does with choosing where to poop.
@AlisonChrista: Bruce Banner is a genius scientist and he still can’t figure out how to make stretchy clothes?
@AlisonChrista: *dies and gets to hell*
I really thought I’d lived a good life.
*Satan shows me a video of that time I left a shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot at Target when the cart return was 10 feet away*
Oh yeah. Fair enough.
@AlisonChrista: Secretly Canadians love it when people mistake them for Amer-
*is decapitated by a hockey stick*