Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of BeTheCookie's best tweets

@BeTheCookie : Reverse cowboy is when you scatter the herd and actively promote bandits and wolves to take what they will.

@BeTheCookie: Judge: I need you to digitize all of my case resolutions and then make backups, on a remote server.
Law clerk: You want me to cloud your judgements?
J: You’re in contempt.

@BeTheCookie: I washed a man in Reno just to watch him dry.

@BeTheCookie: Motel 6: We’ll leave a light on.
Motel 6’s Dad: You will not.

@BeTheCookie: At what age do you have THE talk with your daughter about how she is not the princess of anything and she'll need to get a job.
Is it 6?