Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of BuckyIsotope's best tweets

@BuckyIsotope : ME: I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die MY LAWYER: would you please stop saying that

@BuckyIsotope: ME: if you’re under my roof you follow my rules
SON: fine
ME: well?
SON: *sighs* a ninja turtle could beat up a transformer
ME: thank you

@BuckyIsotope: November
Echo
Victor
Echo
Romeo
Golf
Oscar
November
November
Alfa
Golf
India
Victor
Echo
Yankee
Oscar
Uniform
Uniform
Papa

@BuckyIsotope: KIM JONG UN: I am the angriest craziest most unstable leader in the world and I have the worst haircut
DONALD TRUMP: hold my beer

@BuckyIsotope: Curious George Turns Off Google Image Safe Search

@BuckyIsotope: GOOD COP: I’m going to read you your rights
BAD COP: I’m going to beat a confession out of you
CENTRIST COP: you both make some good points

@BuckyIsotope: My dad left for cigarettes and never came back so I'm going to trap a new one

@BuckyIsotope: “Everybody cut foot loose” - Russian version of Saw

@BuckyIsotope: JESUS: *descends from heaven* HELLO-
ME: question
JESUS: I-
ME: do the cars from the movie Cars have sex?
JESUS: *ascends back into heaven*

@BuckyIsotope: UBER DRIVER: Where to
ME: One sec. Siri, where the best place to dispose of an uber driver’s body
SIRI: The bog
ME: nearest bog please