Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of BuckyIsotope's best tweets

@BuckyIsotope : ME: welcome home John Wick JOHN WICK: thanks roomie. How’s my tamagotchi? ME: *starts sweating profusely*

@BuckyIsotope: SATANIST #1: we need a lot of blood for this ritual
SATANIST #2: yeah but how can we carry it all
KOOL AID MAN: why is everybody staring at me

@BuckyIsotope: Waiter, there appears to be a red bandana in my turtle soup.

@BuckyIsotope: SATAN: welcome to hell
ME: thanks
SATAN: it says here that you were sent down by heaven for *squints at piece of paper* updog. What’s updog?
ME: JUST OWNING THE PRINCE OF DORKNESS WHAT’S UP WITH YOU
*jesus appears and high fives me*

@BuckyIsotope: Autocorrect just changed “loose cannon” to “loser cannon” and now I’m imagining all the people I could shoot out of it.

@BuckyIsotope: SHAGGY: hey Scoob you look like you have a bad case of updog
SCOOBY-DOO: rut’s updog
SHAGGY: not much what’s up with you man lol
SCOOBY-DOO: ruck rou Raggy

@BuckyIsotope: I HATE THE NEW NEIGHBOR
*wife sighs*
“Is this because his grill is bigger than yours”
*frantically duct taping 2 grills together*
NO

@BuckyIsotope: Why isn't a fleet of helicopters just called hellacopters.

@BuckyIsotope: CULT LEADER: join our cult
ME: no thanks
CULT LEADER: we believe Air Bud was a documentary
ME: I'm listening