@Buffalojilll: There are two kinds of dog owners. Those that have tried their dog's treats and those that are lying.
@Buffalojilll: Him: Can you turn on the wifi?
Me: *does a seductive dance in front of the router*
@Buffalojilll: Me, trying to flirt with the Mormon missionary at my door:
No sir, have YOU heard the Good News? IT'S THAT I'M SINGLE.
@Buffalojilll: [Conditioning my hair in the shower]
Me: *rings bell*
My hair: *salivates*
@Buffalojilll: Me: "hey what time do you want to eat dinner?"
Him: "I dunno, I'm not picky. 6:30, 7?"
Me, *to myself* "damn, that's specific"
Me, into the phone, "Yes, table for two for 6:37."