Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of CharmandBrains's best tweets

@CharmandBrains : A required corporate training course said to build strong relationships. Also, HR told me it's "inappropriate" to kiss strangers.

@CharmandBrains: *Throws all 900 baby items in garbage*

*Buys Magic 8 Ball*

*Whispers*, This is how we raise you now.

@CharmandBrains: Every morning I wake up and every morning there is no breakfast in bed. We have got to do something about this level of poverty!

@CharmandBrains: I call bullshit on red wine reducing fat. If there was any truth to that, I'd resemble a crack addict.

@CharmandBrains: Waiter: What dressing would you like on your salad?

Me: Ice cream

@CharmandBrains: *Whispers, spitters are for quitters.

~Wine tasting, you pervs!