Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ChipKellysBalls's best tweets

@ChipKellysBalls : To celebrate Boxing Day on Friday, I had a five minute training montage and beat the shit out of the biggest Russian I could find ...

@ChipKellysBalls: Find a penny
Pick it up
& all the day
You'll have significantly raised chances of contracting a bacterial infection ...

@ChipKellysBalls: I'm starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...

@ChipKellysBalls: Jehovah's Witnesses door-to-door success rate would be a lot higher if they partnered up with the Girl Scouts & started selling cookies ...

@ChipKellysBalls: Sylvester Stallone is looking more and more like G.I Joe doll put in a microwave on high for twenty minutes

@ChipKellysBalls: Bad news: pulled a muscle. Good news: implied presence of muscle ...

@ChipKellysBalls: What exactly do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon? Just water?

@ChipKellysBalls: Why is it the the people who drink the most Red Bull are the people who seem to have the least going on?

@ChipKellysBalls: House is a mess ... Walked in the other day and there were 2 people on the couch blindfolded and filming a Fabreeze commercial