@CroweJam: I'll believe corporations are people when conservatives ban them from marrying each other.
@CroweJam: I wear a cape when I'm driving so if I get pulled over the cop will think I'm going somewhere to fight crime.
@CroweJam: Told her I'd rather eat laundry than fold it and now I'm having boxers for breakfast.
@CroweJam: I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
@CroweJam: There's a bald spot in my yard so I'm gonna let the grass around it grow really long and then do a comb-over.