@DaddyBeerGuy: My daughter is worse than a twitter newbie..
She manually Retweets everything I say...
To my wife!
@DaddyBeerGuy: Boss-You're Always the first one here!
Me-Hey,*early bird gets the worm, right?
*gets to poop or drink coffee without 3yr old interrupting
@DaddyBeerGuy: In case you haven't checked Facebook,
It's hot today, the fireworks were beautiful, and 32 friends invited you to play candy crush!
@DaddyBeerGuy: Hey dude, there's 10 empty urinals in here no need to stand right next to...
And now he's talking to me!
Someone call 911!
@DaddyBeerGuy: Child protective services?
Who's protecting the parents Huh?
WHO'S PROTECTING THE PARENTS?
@DaddyBeerGuy: Wife-CAN YOU CLEAN UP?
Me-*Quietly mutters- I don't work for you!
3-*runs out of room yelling-
DADDY SAYS HE DOESN'T WORK FOR YOU!
@DaddyBeerGuy: Arguing with a woman is like being attacked by a bear...
You're better off playing dead and hoping they get bored and walk away!