Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of DirtyySouthMess's best tweets

@DirtyySouthMess : I always thought I was attracted to men but this chick eating a Snickers on the elliptical has me questioning things.

@DirtyySouthMess: [To police.]

"I want to press charges on my co-worker Steve."

"What'd he do?"

"Warmed up fish in the office microwave."

"...Cuff him."

@DirtyySouthMess: Apparently it's not enough to just show up, you need to be wearing pants as well.

@DirtyySouthMess: I was singing in the gym shower & the girl in the one beside me started singing along & then suddenly my life became this weird, naked duet.