@FeelingEuphoric: "I am a gift to this earth."
[Earth regifts me]
"I am a gift to KELT-1b of the Andromeda Galaxy"
@FeelingEuphoric: NEMESIS: We must fight to the death!
ME (fully aware I'm going to lose): oh thank god
@FeelingEuphoric: *gazing up at stars*
Her (whispering): is that the Big Dipper?
Me (a barista): actually the technical term for it is Venti Dipper
@FeelingEuphoric: I turn to my freezer as I fill up an ice cube tray with water. "Hey, can you do me a solid?"
ME: tell me what you like
HER: I really get off on exhibitionism
ME: OK, cool, weird that museums turn you on but cool
@FeelingEuphoric: *flicks cigarette after a long drag*
Here's the thi—
*coughs for like ten minutes straight bc I've never smoked before*
@FeelingEuphoric: HIM: whatcha thinkin’ about?
ME: *thinking about how polar ice caps are melting yet Santa still gives naughty children coal instead of a clean, renewable resource alternative* …oh, nuthin’