@FeelingEuphoric: [begging for change]
POLICE OFFICER: I’m going to have to ask you to leave
ME: *slamming fists against claw machine* but I'm SO CLOSE
POLICE OFFICER: it’s my turn
@FeelingEuphoric: BARISTA: hey, your drink is on the house today
ME: oh, wow
ME: could…could you get it down?
@FeelingEuphoric: TEACHER: can anybody tell me the answer to this problem
ME: *raising hand confidently* no
@FeelingEuphoric: WINDOWS: update? :)
ME: I can’t
WINDOWS: later? :)
ME: I don’t know if I—
WINDOWS: pwease? :)
ME: fine, later tho
WINDOWS: *immediately restarting* oops :)
@FeelingEuphoric: [first time at church]
me: *flipping through bible* do you guys do soups
@FeelingEuphoric: ME (teaching driver’s ed): quick, what did that sign we just passed say?
ME: this is important
STUDENT: *reluctantly* McDonald’s, one mile, exit 7A?
ME: good. stay in the right lane and ready your blinker
@FeelingEuphoric: ME: I have an appointment for 1:30
RECEPTIONIST: may I have your last name?
ME: omg *tearing up* yes, I’ll marry you
@FeelingEuphoric: ME: *doing deadlifts* more weight
PALLBEARER: *reluctantly adds another body*