Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of FeelingMervis's best tweets

@FeelingMervis : "My Heart Mustard Go On" - Celine Dijon

@FeelingMervis: I've started an elimination diet, It's where I eliminate anyone from my life who talks about their diet.

@FeelingMervis: Damnnnnn gurl... I wanna to take you back to my place, get you alone and just do work on your grammar.

@FeelingMervis: DATING TIP: You never want to seem too easy! So set up a date and never show up.

@FeelingMervis: DATING TIP: Size does matter! Tell her how big your TV is.

@FeelingMervis: DATING TIP: Girls like bad boys! Brag about your Twitter gang.

@FeelingMervis: DATING TIP: Surprise your date! Show up a day early.

@FeelingMervis: If Pitbull wasn't famous he'd easily be the creepiest guy in every club he visits.

@FeelingMervis: HOW TO BECOME A CRAZY CAT LADY:

1) Get a cat.
2) Repeat.