@Fickle_Filly: I keep banana skins within reach at work because you never know when you’re going to need to make a murder look like an accident.
@Fickle_Filly: If you pull out a knife and start sharpening it, people soon stop telling you about their plans for Valentine’s Day.
@Fickle_Filly: "Where have you been all my life?"
In a secure psychiatric unit. Next question.
@Fickle_Filly: People who use the phrase "Correct me if I'm wrong..." clearly don't know me very well.
@Fickle_Filly: Ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no high-security psychiatric hospital strong enough
To keep me from yooou
1. Talking cats
2. Real lightsabers
3. Cars that fire missiles
Genie: Put me back in the bottle and give me to someone normal.
@Fickle_Filly: The puffer fish spends days creating a beautiful boudoir in which to lure a mate and I just want a man who can load the dishwasher properly.