Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Fickle_Filly's best tweets

@Fickle_Filly : [first date] Him: Let's take the stairs! Me: I think we should see other people.

@Fickle_Filly: If I'm carrying a torch for you it's only because I want to set you on fire.

@Fickle_Filly: It wouldn't be appropriate for me to comment further but that's not going to stop me.

@Fickle_Filly: Predator taking off his mask, but it's me removing the filters from my selfies.

@Fickle_Filly: I enjoy reading, long walks on the beach, and getting myself into situations where the only way out is to fake my own death.

@Fickle_Filly: Sorry I dressed up like Captain Caveman when you asked me if I wanted to go clubbing.

@Fickle_Filly: Colleagues who feel the need to say "You either love me or hate me!" are oblivious to the fact that it's always the latter.

@Fickle_Filly: Losing your spouse can be hard.

But it's not impossible.

@Fickle_Filly: The next man who calls me deluded is going to regret it when he finds me sitting in his house wearing a wedding dress.

@Fickle_Filly: A starfish has five arms.
An anablep has four eyes.
An octopus has three hearts.

And you've got two faces.