Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of FuckabillyRex's best tweets

@FuckabillyRex : Paid a mime fifty bucks to follow me around for a day and do the jerk off motion every time I speak.

@FuckabillyRex: I gave my bus driver a copy of the play I wrote about a bus driver that falls in love with one of his passengers. And now we wait.

@FuckabillyRex: Her: Is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Me: It's a meatball sub and I'm happy as long as I don't have to share

@FuckabillyRex: It's hard to feel dangerous when you've had the hiccups for 45 minutes.

@FuckabillyRex: No, I'm not flirting with you, I want your cheddar bay biscuits.

@FuckabillyRex: Someone just knocked on the door of my apartment and I yelled, "There's no one here," so I think I handled that very well.

@FuckabillyRex: Driving around picking up hitchhikers until I find one that's feeling murdery.

@FuckabillyRex: If you're the kinda person that gets antsy when people stand on an escalator instead of walking, try a blood curdling scream, they'll move.

@FuckabillyRex: If you wear it all the time, you'll never know if she's in love with you, or your denim vest, and the chances are it's the vest.