Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of GABBYdaAngSaya's best tweets

@GABBYdaAngSaya : [Bookstore] Me: *hands over Tangled coloring book* Cashier: How old is your daughter? Me: [sweating nervously] Of course it is

@GABBYdaAngSaya: God: You'll be cursed to travel the desert for 35 years
Moses: *slipping him $20* How about 30
[Later]
Moses: We must wander for 40 years

@GABBYdaAngSaya: Satan: And this is the TV room.
Me: This isn't so bad. *turns on TV*
*only thing showing is golf*

@GABBYdaAngSaya: [Watching 101 Dalmatians with a cute girl]
Hold up, hold up. Pause it, please. Thanks. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine,

@GABBYdaAngSaya: Me: *eating a Mars bar*
Martian: Good grief where will I obtain alcohol now

@GABBYdaAngSaya: Me: I think we need to break up
Her: Now is not a good time
Me: Okay
*we ride the rollercoaster in silence*

@GABBYdaAngSaya: Her: I'm leaving you
Me: Because of the ancient Roman literature puns?
Her: Yah
Me: But Aenid you

@GABBYdaAngSaya: Prisoner: You inked
Me: *thinking about my "I hate prisoners" back tattoo* No why

@GABBYdaAngSaya: Genie: I'll give you more wishes, I feel bad for you
Me: [with 3 ice cream cones on the ground] That's very nice of you

@GABBYdaAngSaya: Boss: I suspect one of you is dead
[Everyone looks at me, except for Paul, who is not moving at all]