Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of GaryJanetti's best tweets

@GaryJanetti : Yes, the Nazis were wrong but the Von Trapps were also singing very loudly, all the time, and had refused to stop.

@GaryJanetti: A new study shows body-image issues start as young as 3. How awful. That means 2-year-olds with gross bodies think they look okay.

@GaryJanetti: Rio just listed a slightly used Olympic stadium on eBay.

@GaryJanetti: Next season on Game of Thrones they're actually going to come to your house and start killing the people watching.

@GaryJanetti: Rio declares state of emergency just before Olympics. That's like inviting people to your house for dinner but you have no food. Or house.

@GaryJanetti: Before you tell me anything about your kid you should know I'm going to mentally leave my body.

@GaryJanetti: Just saw you on the beach and think you might look better in something that covers you a bit more. Like your car.

@GaryJanetti: "I'm a model." I see. And does anybody else know that?

@GaryJanetti: Don't send an email if you're angry. Wait a while. Have a couple of drinks. Get yourself really worked up. And then send it.