@GoldenSpirals: Humans will not be fully evolved until everyone achieves the ability to maintain a constant speed while driving.
@GoldenSpirals: My new washing machine plays a tune very similar to an ice cream truck when it's finished.
There's no ice cream in there. I checked. Twice.
@GoldenSpirals: I hate when I buy new shoes,
and I have to learn to drive all over again.
@GoldenSpirals: He tripped, and the laundry basket fell to floor, spilling clothes everywhere.
I sat back and watched it all unfold.
@GoldenSpirals: Naked and Afraid,
but it's just me staring down a spider in the shower.
@GoldenSpirals: Hippocrates did very well for himself,
considering he was named after cages for a large mammal.
@GoldenSpirals: [At Vision Center]
Receptionist: Which Doctor would you like to see?
Me: I'd like to be able to see all of them. That's why I'm here.
@GoldenSpirals: Why did Yogi Bear only have a collar and a tie, and not a full dress shirt?
*Patiently waits as you all Google pics of Yogi Bear*