@GrumpyBahr: Me: Grandma died, can't work today.
Boss: Thought she died last month?
Me: This time she is for real dead. We poked her with a stick.
@GrumpyBahr: CW: My wedding is going to be expensive!
Me: Wait till you see what the divorce is going to cost you!
@GrumpyBahr: People who eat hotdogs from a gas station, you know there's faster ways to commit suicide?
@GrumpyBahr: North Carolina just legalized same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
@GrumpyBahr: Just ate at a Japanese restaurant and the entire staff was Hispanic. I don't know what is real anymore!
@GrumpyBahr: Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.
@GrumpyBahr: Sorry I haven't tweeted much. Kathy on facebook was keeping us updated on her menstrual cramps.
@GrumpyBahr: Preacher: God's love is unconditional!
Me: Then why is there a hell?
Me: Your move.