Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of HiddleDeeDee's best tweets

@HiddleDeeDee : If your pharmacist was as hot as mine, you'd be in line for your fifteenth flu shot as well.

@HiddleDeeDee: If it seems as though I love the dog more than you, kids, well that's because he doesn't have homework I need to help him with.

@HiddleDeeDee: 6: Mom, I'm going to be a Navy pilot or a SEAL. If that doesn't work, I'm going to work at Subway.

It's all about the backup plan, people.

@HiddleDeeDee: 6 to his brother: Hey man, all I want is some oatmeal and a nap.

It's a joy raising an 80 year old man.

@HiddleDeeDee: You're not really a parent until you swat blindly into the backseat, hoping to connect with a kid.

@HiddleDeeDee: 7: Mama, are you lonely when we go to bed?

Me: (Handle this like a great mom. Get the look off your face. Don't laugh.) Of course, sweetie.

@HiddleDeeDee: A student brought me 20 huge homemade chocolate chip cookies today. Good thing I have self-control--I saved one for my kids. To split.

@HiddleDeeDee: Just cleaned out my desk.

Bad news: I apparently have 1,453 Sharpies and none of them are sharp.

Good news: I found the plane!

@HiddleDeeDee: Going to a wedding today:

Me: Do I look ok boys?
6: You look fine.
9: You look wow.

Clearly I have work to do with the little one.

@HiddleDeeDee: I've never been held hostage but I've been on a group text.