Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of HiddleDeeDee's best tweets

@HiddleDeeDee : Eight hours into this family road trip I realized my lifelong vow to avoid illegal drugs was stupid.

@HiddleDeeDee: The only thing worse than my kids talking Minecraft, is my kids watching videos of people talking Minecraft.

@HiddleDeeDee: I accidentally flushed a public toilet with my hand instead of my foot. I may be dying now.

@HiddleDeeDee: If your pharmacist was as hot as mine, you'd be in line for your fifteenth flu shot as well.

@HiddleDeeDee: If it seems as though I love the dog more than you, kids, well that's because he doesn't have homework I need to help him with.

@HiddleDeeDee: 6: Mom, I'm going to be a Navy pilot or a SEAL. If that doesn't work, I'm going to work at Subway.

It's all about the backup plan, people.

@HiddleDeeDee: 6 to his brother: Hey man, all I want is some oatmeal and a nap.

It's a joy raising an 80 year old man.

@HiddleDeeDee: You're not really a parent until you swat blindly into the backseat, hoping to connect with a kid.

@HiddleDeeDee: 7: Mama, are you lonely when we go to bed?

Me: (Handle this like a great mom. Get the look off your face. Don't laugh.) Of course, sweetie.

@HiddleDeeDee: A student brought me 20 huge homemade chocolate chip cookies today. Good thing I have self-control--I saved one for my kids. To split.