Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Hormonella's best tweets

@Hormonella : God: Let's give them the ability to feel remorse. Satan: I like that. Say, from 2:00 - 4:00 AM?

@Hormonella: If you can't be with the dog you love, pat the dog you're with.

@Hormonella: So Mother Theresa puts a dish towel on her head and she's a "saint" but when I put a dish towel on MY head I'm "drunk in the kitchen again?"

@Hormonella: "I love this song!"

"This is my favorite song!"

"I love this song!"

"No, THIS is my favorite song!"

~ Me, listening to my own playlist

@Hormonella: Chihuahua is my favorite pet that is also the sound I make during a bikini wax.

@Hormonella: And YOU get a vegetable pod!

And YOU get a vegetable pod!

And YOU get a vegetable pod!

And YOU get a vegetable pod!

~ The Okra Show

@Hormonella: Wish I could focus on anything with even half the intensity of my dog watching me eat yogurt.

@Hormonella: Me: Hey, great costume, buddy! You look like a real...

Him: Ma'am, please step out of the vehicle.

@Hormonella: Facebook is terrific way to connect with classmates who haven't aged as well as you.

@Hormonella: Don't confuse a Morning Person with a Middle Aged Bladder Person.