@HousewifeOfHell: ...and when you saw 3 sets of footprints in the sand, that's when it took the entire Holy Trinity to carry you after all those piña coladas.
@HousewifeOfHell: Sooo romantic. He said I'm a work of art.
Or a piece of work. Something like that.
@HousewifeOfHell: How are we supposed to fear a storm named Grayson? I'm fighting an urge to iron its prep school uniform or ask it for investment advice.
@HousewifeOfHell: A guest dropped by my dirty house on short notice today, so I put cleaning supplies out all over the place. They were just for show.
@HousewifeOfHell: Stay in school, kids.
No, I mean really. Don't come home. We need a break.
@HousewifeOfHell: My husband and I are giving our daughter driving lessons. He teaches her how to drive, and I teach how to swear at all the other drivers.
@HousewifeOfHell: I cleaned the house last month and it's already dirty again. Life is SO unfair.