Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!

Page of JJSummertime's best tweets

@JJSummertime : Mandatory urine test tomorrow means asparagus for dinner tonight. Two can play.

@JJSummertime: It is snowing perfect snowball packing snow right now, so I was wondering if anyone would like to walk slowly past my house?

@JJSummertime: Now I lay me down to rest.
I pray your TC loves you best.
If he does choose another,
I sincerely hope it's not your mother.

@JJSummertime: Me: I'm going to bed after this episode.
Netflix: Hahahahahaha! Sure. Ok.

@JJSummertime: If I had 3 wishes I'd spend them on my daughter.
Happiness, success and her very own little shithead who refuses to replace the TP roll.