@JustDontBugMe: [Getting married]
Hey, thanks for doing this with me... I wasn't sure how to operate the microwave.
@JustDontBugMe: Me: Another nightmare?
M: You were yelling "Dora the Explorer help! No Swiper, no!"
M: Maybe lay off the cartoons, bruh.
@JustDontBugMe: Millennial1: What's a Solar Eclipse?
Millennial2: When the moon photobombs the sun.
@JustDontBugMe: [god creating raccoons]
God: Make a giant squirrel that's dressed like a burglar and greedy af.
God: Just do it.
@JustDontBugMe: [First Date]
Him: Hi, I'm Chandler, I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable.
M: Oh really? *winks*
H: You look beautiful today.
@JustDontBugMe: [Secret Meeting]
God: We need to create something Magical
Angel: Yes, Sir
G: Call it Unicorn
A: *Tries and fails
G: Call it rhinoceros
@JustDontBugMe: American: Say Aboot or Sorey? You say words so weird.
Canadian: Yeah eh. Does saying Free health care hurt your feelings?
@JustDontBugMe: [During an ultrasound scan]
Doctor:The baby looks fine.
Mom:See? that's your baby sister in there!
3:What??Mom, why did you eat the baby?
@JustDontBugMe: Her: Those ants are working so hard.
Me: We could learn from them.
Ant1: Humans are staring.
Ant2: Yes, they'll spray some shit on us. Run!