Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of JustDontBugMe's best tweets

@JustDontBugMe : Mosh pit is just goth wrestling.

@JustDontBugMe: When I found out that my neighbour is allergic to cats
I bought one
And I have never seen him since.

@JustDontBugMe: F1: I'm going camping.

F2: What about the wild animals?

F1: I've got that covered. I've been secretly training at Furry conventions.

@JustDontBugMe: Dearest Timmy,

Your obsession with wells is tearing us apart.

Sincerely,
Lassie.

@JustDontBugMe: Dad: Maybe we should do it

Mom: You know it's I-N-A-P-P-R-O-P-R-I-A-T-E to talk about it in front of the kids

6: What's inappropriate Mom?

@JustDontBugMe: For my next trick, I will try not to kill my volunteer.

@JustDontBugMe: [Getting married]

Hey, thanks for doing this with me... I wasn't sure how to operate the microwave.

@JustDontBugMe: Me: Another nightmare?
Him: Why?

M: You were yelling "Dora the Explorer help! No Swiper, no!"

H: ...
M: Maybe lay off the cartoons, bruh.

@JustDontBugMe: Millennial1: What's a Solar Eclipse?

Millennial2: When the moon photobombs the sun.