@KatieBurnett: Do people who happily announce their pregnancy know they are going to be stuck with a baby afterwards?
@KatieBurnett: The worst thing about kissing the person who loves you the most is when you bang your teeth off the mirror
@KatieBurnett: Never seen anyone in Nandos or McDonald's pick up an appropriate amount of napkins - you're cleaning up after a burger not a double homicide
@KatieBurnett: Blind dates are the best because they can't see me stealing all of the food from their plate
@KatieBurnett: Facebook's great for when you wanna see a picture or a joke you saw on Twitter four years ago
@KatieBurnett: To the guy who turned the entire first floor of his house into a giant ball pit - I will find you, and I will marry you
@KatieBurnett: I've just seen a girl post a selfie with her dead grandma on facebook and thousands have commented "rip". Stop the internet, I wanna get off