@KentWGraham: I make up for those people who jog in place at red lights by eating snacks while lying down in bed.
@KentWGraham: When someone says they worked like a dog, I’m envious because every dog I’ve ever known has done nothing all day long.
@KentWGraham: In our house, we have mandatory family time where the four of us can only text each other.
@KentWGraham: My wife got an organic, free-range, non-GMO, antibiotic-free turkey for Thanksgiving — and every one of those adjectives added 20 bucks.
@KentWGraham: I got flipped off three times by the same woman during rush hour today. I’m never driving my wife to work again.
@KentWGraham: God, I hate Apple. I updated my iPhone software and now I’m missing a bunch of photos, 30 bucks from my dresser and my favorite pants.