Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of LMLMadness's best tweets

@LMLMadness : Sleeping Beauty is my favorite story about how any sweet princess will activate her fire breathing dragon if you wake her up from a nap.

@LMLMadness: Last night I did Crossfit for the first time and now I understand why those people always look so angry.

@LMLMadness: Show her how romantic you are by sprinkling body parts in a trail leading to the bed.

@LMLMadness: Last night I dreamt I laid in bed all day drinking wine, eating chocolate & watching Netflix.

Tomorrow I'm making my dreams come true.

@LMLMadness: My Mom keeps warning me about talking to strangers on the Internet.
I'm 34 now Mom. I don't talk to them. I sleep with them.