@LOsepyan : We should let prisoners take their own mug shots...I shall call it "The cellfie"
@LOsepyan: If I had a dollar for every time I was wrong, I'd be incredibly broke.
@LOsepyan: Hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven?-How to pick up Satan
@LOsepyan: When someone says "surprise me", I immediately drop my pants and start singing its raining men.
@LOsepyan: Yes, your honor, but in my defense I thought he was stung by a jellyfish
@LOsepyan: The light at the end of the tunnel better be a damn computer screen
@LOsepyan: According to my next door neighbor's diary I have "boundary issues" can you believe that?
@LOsepyan: I feel like life would be so much more enjoyable if punching bags and pinatas were strategically placed throughout the day
@LOsepyan: If those Amazon drones can really get to your house in 30 minutes then condoms are about to become their #1 selling item.
@LOsepyan: Before Wallmart existed you had to buy a ticket to see the circus.