Funny Tweeter

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Page of LeonEarlgrey's best tweets

@LeonEarlgrey : baby proofing your house is easy, just lock your doors. There's no way they could get in unless there were like hundreds of them or somthing

@LeonEarlgrey: My name is Leon but some of you know me by my street name, 9th avenue.

@LeonEarlgrey: Hey girl are you my golf clubs? Because I tottaly forgot to take you out of my trunk.

@LeonEarlgrey: I'm under the weather today, also so is everyone else, that's how weather works.

@LeonEarlgrey: "Two can play at that game"
-guy who's confused about solitaire.

@LeonEarlgrey: I always go the extra mile,
which is why my friends don't let me drive

@LeonEarlgrey: Cop1:did u hear about the kidnapping?

Cop2: should we go help?

Cop1: No it's ok he woke up.

This fall on CBS
"Good Cop, Dad Cop"

@LeonEarlgrey: So embarrassing when you compliment a lady on her large belly and it turns out she's just pregnant.

@LeonEarlgrey: Hey girl are you a capri sun? Because i want to stab you.

@LeonEarlgrey: I have been using teeth whitener, and now they are completely oblivious to the experiences and sufferings of other peoples.