@LoneWolfStories: This stray cat on my balcony is looking at me like I'm invading its privacy.
@LoneWolfStories: Her: OMG! The holidays aren't an excuse to stuff your face with whatever edible that crosses your path.
Me: I eat like this everyday.
@LoneWolfStories: That's one healthy flower bed you've got blooming in your backyard. How many bodies do you have buried there?
-My attempts at small talk.
@LoneWolfStories: It's like my fridge sends texts inviting all my friends over the moment I fill it up.
@LoneWolfStories: Sometimes I like to surprise my neighbours by smiling and waving back at them.
@LoneWolfStories: Her: Let's go shopping.
Me: In your dreams.
Her: The boutique has Wi-Fi.
Me: Why are we still here?
@LoneWolfStories: If I'm your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.
@LoneWolfStories: Damn you autocorrect for making me look like an idiom. Always trying to make a tool out of me.