Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of LurkAtHomeMom's best tweets

@LurkAtHomeMom : You ran a 5k? Like on purpose or do you just have a lot of bees in your neighborhood?

@LurkAtHomeMom: If anyone has a solid 3 hours on their hands, my 6 year old has a story about Pikachu he'll tell to anyone who is willing to listen.

@LurkAtHomeMom: Pediatrician: How much water does she drink?

Me: You mean like water water or bath water?

@LurkAtHomeMom: 90% of parenting a little girl is chasing her around the house with a hair brush and a ponytail holder.

@LurkAtHomeMom: My organization style can be best described as "just don't look in that room."

@LurkAtHomeMom: My 6yo: *begs to go to a Mexican restaurant*

Also my 6yo: *orders a hot dog*

@LurkAtHomeMom: [Bucket Lists]
2003:
1. Visit Rome
2. Go skydiving
3. Run marathon

2017:
1. Eat sitting down
2. Wake up naturally
3. Finish painting foyer

@LurkAtHomeMom: I didn't have time to have my coffee before drop off this morning. Anyway. Hopefully I brought them to the right school.

@LurkAtHomeMom: Nobody is hungrier than a child who's just been told it's time for bed.

@LurkAtHomeMom: No thanks, I'm not hungry right now. I'll just wait until after you put it away and sit down. Then I'll have some.

-kids