@Marlebean: A nasal spray that's filled with glitter, so when you sneeze it's like a confetti popper.
@Marlebean: My husband loves to role play Sexy Star Wars in bed.
Maybe one day I'll get to wear the golden bikini.
@Marlebean: Sometimes I lie and tell my husband I spent $300 at Costco so he'll stop talking to me.
@Marlebean: Prepare for the zombie apocalypse?
Just bite me and get it over with. I'm too lazy for this crap.
@Marlebean: I'll photoshop my youngest into old pics just to make him stop crying about not being a part of the family before he was born.
@Marlebean: (opens door)
Me: Staff meeting soon
CW: GET OUT!
M: Nice carpet
CW: SHUT THE DOOR!
M: Can I borrow some toilet paper? The next stall is out.
@Marlebean: With my husband's inability to find anything, I'm really surprised we have children.
@Marlebean: They say guys who drive tiny sports cars are trying to over-compensate...
*walks up to guy in minivan*