Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of MissBamantha's best tweets

@MissBamantha : I like to pride myself on knowing whether it's Ice Ice Baby or Under Pressure by the first bum bum bum badda dum bum.

@MissBamantha: What do bats eat that makes their shit our standard for crazy?

@MissBamantha: A Haiku For My Salad:

I do not like you
You will never be grilled cheese
You make my mouth sad

@MissBamantha: Grandpa Joe's all, I'm gonna just stay in bed for twenty years. Wait, a CHOCOLATE FACTORY? jkjk I can walk!

He's my kinda people.

@MissBamantha: Boyfriend Test: Sour Skittles in one hand. Peanut Butter M&Ms in the other. Which do you choose?

WRONG. Neither. Don't ever take my candy.

@MissBamantha: Nothing in the history of the English language has backfired more than the phrase "calm down."

@MissBamantha: Overheard a girl just say she's full because she ate at 3:00. It's 6:00. How can you stay full for THREE HOURS, alien?