Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Not_From_Troy's best tweets

@Not_From_Troy : Whenever I'm in doubt, I ask myself "What would Jesus do?" then I remember Jesus got crucified, his decision making skills weren't brilliant

@Not_From_Troy: When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight...

to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.

@Not_From_Troy: I cry when I cut my carrots because I don't want my onions to feel awkward.

@Not_From_Troy: My ambition is to be the last man on earth so that I can find out if all those girls were telling the truth.

@Not_From_Troy: I did a survey and asked 5 women what kind of clothing brand they preferred. The 5 responded: "How the hell did you get into my house?"

@Not_From_Troy: What if we all do not exist and God is alone just imagining us?

@Not_From_Troy: - Do you have photos of your girlfriend naked?

-No.

- Do you want some?

@Not_From_Troy: My new diet consists in killing anyone who tells me I'm fat.

@Not_From_Troy: Doctor! Is it normal to have one leg longer than the other two?