Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of OrangeFact's best tweets

@OrangeFact : Are you tired of having a great friendship? Ruin it with Sex™

@OrangeFact: My new favorite thing on Twitter is this three-year feud between Wendy's and a cabbage account

@OrangeFact: [Date]
ME: I hope you like your wine dry
HER: But of cour- umm that's just a glass of raisins
ME: *mouth full of raisins* it's weally dwy

@OrangeFact: ME AT HOME: I'll eat a whole pizza & a tub of ice cream for dinner

ME ON A DATE: *just chewing on tree bark* this is all I need to survive

@OrangeFact: My👏spacebar👏is👏broken👏so👏I'm👏using👏the👏clapping👏emoji👏instead👏I'm👏not👏trying👏to👏make👏a👏point

@OrangeFact: Apples are actually bad for your health! Scientists have discovered that everyone who ate an Apple during the 15th Century is now dead.

@OrangeFact: HIM: Show me what that mouth do, girl ;)

ME: *eats a fistful of bees*

@OrangeFact: [First Date]

HER: I love dogs.

ME: [Trying to impress her] Waiter, give us your finest Labrador - medium rare.

@OrangeFact: Sometimes I'll order things online & pay for handling but not shipping. I don't want the product; I just want them to move it around a bit.

@OrangeFact: SPOILER ALERT: In the book "What to Expect When You're Expecting," it's a baby. You're expecting a baby.