Funny Tweeter

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Page of Paige__xxx's best tweets

@Paige__xxx : A taser but for people who say "it is what it is".

@Paige__xxx: *Refuses to go to the gym

Adds resistance training to workout list.

@Paige__xxx: [ during sex ]

Can we make a food baby? I'm hungry.

@Paige__xxx: Today, I’ve been cleaning. And by cleaning I mean drinking wine and spraying everything with Febreze.

@Paige__xxx: Me: tries to sleep
Brain:
M:
B:
M:
B:
M:
B: if one synchronized swimmer drowns do the others have to drown too?

@Paige__xxx: Marriage means commitment. So does insanity.

Coincidence?