Funny Tweeter

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Page of PoliUncorrect's best tweets

@PoliUncorrect : Interviewer: we need someone experienced, this job will break you... Worm: (slowly breaks itself in two while maintaining eye contact)

@PoliUncorrect: *Crime Scene

Cop: (cuffs the dog)

Detective: what the hell are you doing?

Cop: Sir, I think we're dealing with a shapeshifter

@PoliUncorrect: I'm mad at myself for losing an argument while rehearsing it in my head, so don't tell me how hard your life is

@PoliUncorrect: If I learned anything from my childhood, its that if you cry long enough, your dead hamster will be reborn as a rabbit

@PoliUncorrect: * Pogoing Outside Your Window

~ Are... You... Sure... You... Don't... Want.... A... Second... Date?

@PoliUncorrect: Pharmacist: need any help?

Me: Yes, I'd like whatever Oprah was on when she gave each and every audience member a car