Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Pork_Chop_Hair's best tweets

@Pork_Chop_Hair : *sends you a 13-page love letter & introduces you to my parents in order to scare your hiccups away* *you're cured*

@Pork_Chop_Hair: *Band at a drive-thru, arguing about band name*
Cashier: Here's your fries, and a nickel back
Chad Kroeger, gasps: You guys I have an idea

@Pork_Chop_Hair: I'm pretty laid back... but if the bagger boy at the grocery store puts soup cans with bananas and bread again, I'm going to Lose. My. Shit.

@Pork_Chop_Hair: People with infectious laughs make me want to be a better laugher.

@Pork_Chop_Hair: Him: Don't get your panties in a bunch.

Me: It's called a bulk pack, Todd. That's how Costco sells them.

@Pork_Chop_Hair: Hell is just you and your dog as he takes revenge for all the times you shouted "Squirrel!" when there was no squirrel.

@Pork_Chop_Hair: When I cut my nails in the yard outside, I wonder if the ants really appreciate the giant tusk weapons I'm giving them for their battles...