Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of PortRooster's best tweets

@PortRooster : Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do...

@PortRooster: Due to a tragic "iTunes on shuffle" incident, I have had to convince the guys at work that I have a 12yr old daughter they have never met...

@PortRooster: OOO!

XOX.

XXX!!

- Reviews for "TicTacToe, The Movie"

@PortRooster: If women had to be assembled, a lot of us would probably just play with the box...

@PortRooster: On phone:

GF: We're breaking up...
Me: I can hear you fine!
GF: It's not you, it's me...
Me: Did you get a new provider?
GF: Kinda... Bye!

@PortRooster: Pitbull: Hey, what rhymes with "Kodak"?

Nicki Minaj: "Kodak", duh...

Pitbull: Thanks!

@PortRooster: Niece (4): Uncle, what do you get if you mix blue and purple?

Me: Blurple.

*She walks away satisfied and amazed at all the things I "know"

@PortRooster: Not entirely sure what a "propriate" is, but apparently I'm in it...

@PortRooster: Buddy of mine dropped some acid... Burnt a hole in the floor... He was tripping for days!